A friend (*wink *wink) and I were chatting the other day and the conversation turned towards a book that one of his clients had written — "The Alter Ego Effect" by Todd Herman.
Full disclosure: I have not yet read the book, however it has been ordered and is currently on it's way to my nightstand.
I have been thinking about this conversation a lot over the past week for many, many reasons. I have decided that I need to come up with an alter ego for myself. I have been doing a lot (read: "a whole effing LOT") of work over the last 3 years trying to figure out who I am and who I want to be in this next season that is the series of my life.
If you haven't heard, I have a podcast where I share all the adventures of learning how to adult for the first time after a 23 year marriage: The Next Twenty-Three with Kellie Taylor
What I have learned is that who I was at 22 (fun, silly, brave, kind, loving, fearless) is exactly who I want to be at 50. And the good news is, she's back (and even better because she has more money and more "I don't give a fuck" wisdom under her belt).
Fun fact about me, I have good hair. No, let me not downplay it...I have GREAT hair. Always have. People have always complimented me on my hair and while I knew it, I was always a little embarrassed by it. Don't get me wrong, I spent decades with a terrible hairstyle that I thought was the total shit. But that wasn't my hairs fault. Even with a shitty style, my hair was still great.
What makes my hair great? It is naturally curly but can go super straight in no time flat. It's very versatile! And this morning, after washing and drying it back to curly after a week of wearing it straight, it hit me...THIS is my alter ego effect!
I look different and feel different with each of these styles. It's still me, only a little different. These pictures were taken 1 day apart. Pose is similar, face is similar, but energy is slightly different. Confidence is a smidge higher in one vs the other.
The irony is, I feel more like the "real" me in my big, 80's curls but I am a little more confident in the sleek, straight style.
Both are me, just a little different.
Superman had his glasses to make him Clark Kent (Thanks @prettyflycopy for that gem). Beyonce had her stage to make her Sasha Fierce (until she no longer needed Sasha and then, well, you can google that). And apparently I have my flat iron. Who knew?!?!
Changing my hair does several things:
It satisfies my need to change things up. I get rather bored when life is the exact same day after day, so changing my hairstyle is an easy and non-permanent (read: non-trauma inducing) solution.
It invites discussion (a.k.a. Compliments). There, I said it. I am a BIG fan of compliments. Always have been and always will be. And I'm not sorry about it.
It boosts my confidence. When I know that my hair is looking like fire, I feel a little more powerful. A little more brave. A little more bold. It's the little things, ya know?
What changing my hair doesn't do?
It doesn't make me a different person.
It doesn't change who I am inside, at my core.
It doesn't change my heart or my character.
It doesn't change my worth.
It doesn't change how my people love me.
It doesn't change how I show up for my people.
It doesn't change what I want in life.
It doesn't change my past or my future.
So cheers to finding something that gives you that little extra something so you can let your freak flag fly with the confidence of a Queen Bey while still being exactly who you are.